Mike and I seriously debated on whether or not to have a third baby. We LOVED our life with our two kiddos and were extremely happy but I felt like there was ONE more child that was suppose to come to our family and Mike did as well. Unlike the other two kids who I did rounds of fertility medication with, I immediately got pregnant with Lucy and was quite surprised. The pregnancy was relatively uneventful but I just realized it was a lot harder to be pregnant this time with two kids and a physically laboring job of shooting 8 hours weddings so I was very fatigued and just overall tired all the time. While I didn't gain a crazy amount of weight, I got very large. Some people will say "oh no, you weren't that big" but when the last 3 months of my pregnancy I got asked if I was about to give birth and the last wedding I shot (two weeks before my due date) some of the wedding guests took bets on if I was having twins or "about to pop" then you have to admit I was huge. Even my family and friends who aren't afraid to tell me like it is will say that I was massive. Still don't believe me? This is me with over a month left. Don't worry, I know I was big.
When my OB checked me I had made some progress from my appointment just 4 days earlier so she said that she could probably just go ahead and break my water without doing pitocin. While I was being painfully checked, My OB couldn't feel Lucy's head and worried that maybe she flipped breech so she decided to do an ultrasound to make sure. Luckily Lucy was still head down but she was too high and there was umbilical cord next to her head. My OB explained how that was too risky and she didn't want to take the chance of her cord coming out first and needing to do an emergency c-section so she apologized and said I needed to do pitocin to have the contractions move Lucy down against my cervix. I completely agreed and pitocin was started. The contractions were surprisingly manageable given that I was on pitocin. I walked around and then sat on my exercise ball while Mike and I watched The Office on my phone. My mom showed up when we were checking in to be there to take pictures and my friend April, who was going to be my birth coach with Mike, showed up about an hour after we had started. My dad spent the morning at the temple for his ward temple day and snuck out a little earlier than he planned because he didn't want to miss Lucy's birth and meeting his grand baby. While sitting on my exercise ball I would feel a contraction start but not continue so I was discouraged that progress may have stopped but my OB came in 30 minutes after her previous visit and when she checked me I had dilated 2 more centimeters and Lucy's head was right against my cervix. She did an ultrasound and confirmed Lucy's position and that there was no umbilical cord near Lucy's head. At that point she felt confident to break my water. During my exams, my parents and April were in the room but standing behind the curtain near the door to give me some privacy.
At my 36 week ultrasound my doctor measured Lucy and my amniotic fluid and Lucy was measuring 7lbs 12oz and my amniotic fluid levels were very high.
When I got pregnant, I knew I wanted to have an all natural birth and possibly give birth at a birth center. Mike was adamant about me not going to a birth center because 1-we have insurance that covers the hospital so why pay more for the birth center that isn't covered 2- we LOVE my OB and trust her enormously and 3- Mike wanted us at the hospital in case something went wrong (I tried really hard to convince him nothing would go wrong) so we decided that as long as my OB was supportive of me going natural that I was OK with staying with her and going to the hospital.
The last month before my due date I did EVERY single possible method to help me progress and get closer to going into labor. You name it, I tried it....daily. So needless to say I was starting to get really frustrated when at my weekly appointments I was showing tiny amounts of, if any, progress. I was especially frustrated because I was due 3 days before my OB was leaving out of town for a few days and we had talked about being induced before she left, which is the opposite of my desired birth plan. Some people had said "it doesn't matter who catches the baby" and I was very tempted to agree and just go into labor on my own whether my doctor was there or an attending OB was there. But I kept thinking I don't want some impatient OB wanting to get home and so they rush me or don't follow my birth plan so I decided I would rather be induced and have my OB there. She was very encouraging saying that she would maybe give me a little pitocin to start contractions and then after about 30 minutes she would break my water and let me labor without any meds. As the days passed and I got closer to my scheduled induction I grew more and more frustrated that my body wouldn't just go into labor on it's own. I eventually (like the night before I was induced) surrendered and the figuratively and literally threw my birth plan in the garbage. I decided I would get the baby here and do my best to go without an epidural. Mike gave me a priesthood blessing the night before and blessed that I would listen to my OB and know that she has my health and the baby's health as her top priority and will do everything she can to keep us safe.
I was scheduled to arrive at the hospital at 7:30am on September 11th. The hospital called at 6:30am and said they were full and would call me around 10am to let me know if there was a room or not. Knowing that I was going to have to wait and that I was already starving from being told not to eat "in case I had to have an emergency c-section so that I wouldn't aspirate on the table" I went ahead and ate 1 egg and a piece of toast at 7:30am because I wasn't planning on having a c-section so it would be OK. I even snuck in some trail mix to eat while I was laboring and my nurse was out of the room. I knew I would need energy to labor naturally. Finally I heard from the hospital and was told to go in around 1:30pm. I was so busy with prepping last minute things that I didn't bother to notice the length and spacing of the contractions I was already having that morning. We were riding in the car to the hospital when I noticed I was having contractions about 7 minutes apart. I continued to have contractions while waiting to be taken back to my room, while they started my IV (which was an awful experience since the nurse SOMEHOW painfully, rolled my very vascular vein), asked questions and before the pitocin even started.
Doctor Holt sat on my bed next to me and broke my water. Imagine filling a full sized balloon (not a little water balloon) with water and then popping it. Yeah, that's what it felt like and that's what the folks behind the curtain said it sounded like. There was SO much fluid! I'm talking a good 1-2 gallons that gushed to the point where my OB had to get off the bed to avoid getting soaked. She did another exam, while standing bedside, and that's when she felt umbilical cord outside of my cervix and Lucy's head pinching it. She remained as calm as she could but after seeing her for 7 years, her delivering 2 of my children and this being the third, I could tell she was panicking internally. She apologized for how "aggressive she was going to have to be to move the umbilical cord". Boy she wasn't kidding. She quickly explained what was happening and then the rest of the time she was silent as she focused and worked as best as she could. The only thing she said throughout was "I'm so sorry" as I screamed through the pain. I had to keep saying "it's ok" because although it was excruciating, I knew why she had to do it. She literally stuck her entire hand inside and tried to push the umbilical cord back up into my uterus. All the while I was still contracting and sobbing. I am sure the whole hospital could hear me as I screamed. It was the worst pain I have ever felt in my life. Once she felt the umbilical cord she called for a full team. At that point multiple people rushed into my room and at the time I didn't know but they had my parents and April leave while Mike paced helpless since I was surrounded by nurses, my OB and now her business partner (about 6 people). FINALLY she was able to get the umbilical cord back into my uterus but everyone in the room just paused (while Dr. Holt's hand was still inside of me) and stared at the monitors. Dr. Holt explained that she was able to move my umbilical cord and she was waiting to see if Lucy's dropped heart rate of 60bpm would go back up. They waited maybe a whole 30 seconds, which felt like forever, before she told the staff and myself that we were heading to the OR. I was sobbing.
At the time I guess I didn't really comprehend the severity of danger my baby was in because I was more upset that I was having to have surgery. I assumed they would take my baby out and I would have to spend an extra day in the hospital and take care of my baby while recovering from a major surgery. I had no idea what was happening with her.
I was rushed into the OR and as soon as we entered, my OB went right back to making sure the cord wasn't being pinched and I was yelling in pain while her partner was kind of taking over getting everything ready. Since I was planning on going natural, I had no epidural and therefore had to be put under general anesthesia and receive my catheter without pain meds. I had warned them that I do NOT handle anesthesia well (CRAZY bad side effects for me) and that I would need some serious anti-nausea medication. Luckily my mom and Mike had reminded them of that multiple times. Speaking of Mike...I had no idea where he was during all of this. While we were still in the delivery room I caught glimpses of him pacing and just observing but I was closing my tear filled eyes just trying to bear the pain. I heard a nurse tell him "here are your scrubs for the OR" while we were getting ready but then I didn't see him again except for a BRIEF moment in the OR where he was standing over me and then he was gone again. The OR was a mad house. After working as a surgical tech in Labor and Delivery, I have assisted in emergency c-sections so I know all too well what goes down in there. The anesthesiologist cut my dress and bra off, gave me an oxygen mask, told me I would feel burning in my left arm and to just breathe. I felt the burn like they said, what I assume was my OB rubbing the iodine on my stomach and then I don't remember anything else. Because I was under general anesthesia they did not allow Mike to be in there and witness the birth. He sat in my delivery room by himself and was later informed of Lucy's status.
"Kylie. Kylie! Wake up" were the next words I heard. I found myself extremely groggy to the point where I could barely crack my eyes open, oxygen tubes in my nose and a sore throat leaving me unable to talk. Standing over me was my amazing husband to my left and my dad to my right. I was so happy to finally see Mike. "It's over!" I thought to myself with a huge sense of relief but that relief vanished when I saw tears in Mike's eyes and my dad's. "What's wrong?" "Why are you crying?" "Where's Lucy?" were all the things I wanted to ask but I couldn't due to being intubated and unable to speak from a raw throat. Mike knew I must have those questions running through my mind and said "Lucy isn't doing well and she's in the NICU." Shaking so badly and being so groggy from the anesthesia all I could was close my eyes and weep. Another 50 questions came into my head...all of which I couldn't ask. "When they got her out she wasn't breathing and so she is intubated and needing help to breathe but she's alive." Mike further explained. He went on to explain how they needed to transfer her to a different hospital with a NICU that could do this cooling method. I didn't pay much attention to the explanation of the cooling method as my thoughts were consumed with my baby being taken away and all I could think about was that she wasn't going to make it. It was painful to cry because of my surgery and my sore throat but I just laid my head back, closed my eyes and let the tears stream down my face as my father stroked my hair.
Throughout my pregnancy I never could picture a third baby for us even though I was pregnant with her! It was bizarre. I even said that to Mike on the drive to the hospital about how "I just don't see us with three kids". After receiving the news about Lucy I started to panic that the reason I had all those feelings was because deep down I knew she wasn't going to live for some reason. A nurse quickly explained that they were needing to take Lucy ASAP and that the ambulance/transport team was almost there so they were going to bring Lucy in for me to see her really quick. I did everything in my physical power to get my eyes open to see her. The nurses all tried their best to help me see her and touch her but it was so difficult with her incubator and my bed restrictions. I barely grazed her with my finger.
Not really having any answers, we were all concerned that Lucy would not survive. My dad felt that he and Mike should quickly give her a name and a blessing before the transport team took her away. Shortly after starting their blessing a nurse had Mike step out of the way, she listened to Lucy with her stethoscope and said they need to take her back to the NICU STAT! My dad took his hands out of the incubator and Lucy was quickly rushed out. It took me a while but I finally struggled to say "pain" to have Mike tell the nurse I was in a lot of pain so luckily she started my morphine drip. A neurologist came in and discussed the possibility of brain damage with Lucy and all I could keep thinking was that she wasn't going to make it. They let my mom come back to be with us, even though it was against policy, and I was so happy to see her. The transport team ended up bringing Lucy back in for me to see her again and let us know they had to whisk her away because she was pulling on her breathing tube so they removed it and she was actually breathing on her own. They didn't want to take the chance of her not breathing at some point so they went ahead and put a little c-pap type breathing tube on her just in case. She HATED the tubes. We decided that Mike and my dad would follow the transport team to be with Lucy and my mom would stay with me. I know it brought back a lot of memories for my parents as their first child had a rough beginning and was transported to another hospital after being born.
I was moved to a postpartum room where I made phone calls to some close friends to ask for prayers, received some calls from my bishop and others who had heard the news and my sister in law Lexi came to sit with my mom and I. I'm pretty sure I sobbed all night and cried myself to sleep. Throughout my stay I Facetimed with Mike while he was with Lucy in order to be updated, had a few visitors (thank you to those who visited me!), and took my time recovering.
That's Lucy's birth story and I will have to blog her NICU stay another time as that's a lengthy post all in itself. I'm grateful for my sweet baby, my amazing family (especially my husband), and my great OB. We are especially grateful for all the prayers from everyone on our behalf.
Lucy Beth Crump
September 11, 2015
4:56pm
9lbs 11oz
21.5in long
